this is a conversation between a ventriloquist and his dummy:
"Two Jews walk into a bar."
"No."
"what you dont let Jews into your bars?"
"Yes but i dont want racist jokes on my show."
"ok how about if i kill the jews?"
"NO!"
"Only joking, i wouldnt do that. I would throw a penny between them and watch them FIGHT TO THE DEATH! Yes, i did the same with 2 catholic priest but threw a small boy in instead! And the winner had to fight michael jackson!"

Achmed the dead terrorist

One guy is a german and thinks he has the smallest dick ever,
1 guy is from the netherlands and thinks he has biggest dick ever
and 1 guy is a belgian and thinks he is the dumbest person ever.

When they arrived at the building of the record book the belgian went in first,
after a while he came out and screamed happely that he was the dumbest person ever.
then the dutch guy walked in and he also came happy out of the building after a while, cause he has teh biggest dick ever.
Then the german walks in and after a while he walks out, screaming of anger : "WHO THE F*CK IS JUSTIN BIEBER?!"

What do you call 2 chavs on the moon?
A bigger problem.

What do you call all the chavs on the moon?
Problem solved.

Why Blond does not buy Kia? - Becasue on mobile is NOKIA - NO KIA xD

Brunette says to Blond : Watch trees!
Blond says : Cant see trees are before. :/

Wan hear joke? - joke

here is a little joke from me

My parents recently retired. Mom always wanted to learn to play the piano, so dad bought her a piano for her birthday. A few weeks later, I asked how she was doing with it. "Oh, we returned the piano." said My Dad, "I persuaded her to switch to a clarinet instead."

"How come?" I asked. "Because," he answered, "with a clarinet, she can't sing."